Teen says her step-siblings are angry they didn’t get a ‘grandchild legacy’

A teenage girl has been accused of lacking “empathy and compassion” for her step-siblings after they became upset when they did not receive a “grandchild inheritance” following the death of her grandparents.

The 17-year-old girl described the tragedy in a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forumstarting by explaining the context of her blended family. She said her father and stepmother married when she was seven years old and her brother was nine, shortly before their mother died. The stepmother has two children of her own, who were 2 and 4 at the time.

The teen said the only extended family she has is from her late mother’s side, and “when dad remarried, he insisted that my step-siblings had to be involved or they couldn’t see us.”

“Grandparents’ rights were not available at the time, so my grandparents agreed, but they made it clear to Dad that they only involved our (step-siblings) because they loved us and wanted to see us,” the teen wrote. “So every time we saw our grandparents, my step-siblings did, and they became really attached even though my grandparents never felt any different. My step-siblings were a way to see my brother and me, and not more grandchildren or family in any way for my grandparents. It was a way to see my brother and me.” It was the same for the rest of my extended family.”

The teen’s grandfather died in 2020 and her grandmother died a month ago. At her grandmother’s funeral, her aunt and uncle “intervened” and told the step-siblings that they could not sit in “the grandkids section.” And after the service, each grandchild “received our ‘grandchild legacy,’ a lovingly crafted memory book that our grandparents had made for us that contained entries up to the day before Grandma died.”

However, the step-siblings got ‘nothing’ – and this resulted in very hurt feelings. “This devastated them, and there has been an atmosphere ever since,” the teen wrote. “My father and stepmother are furious.”

The teen said her father told her she should “show a little love and loyalty between her siblings” and “take a stand against” her extended family, but she refused. Her father and stepmother are not happy with her position.

“I told them that none of this was my fault and that I would not turn away from my family for it. They said that was me by choosing my extended family. I told them that they are my family. don’t push away,” she remembers. of the conversations.

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The teen argued that her father and stepmother are to blame for the situation.

“I told my stepmother that she knew that my grandparents only took her children because they wanted to see me and my brother and that father had forced them to do so. I said that they should never have let the children believe that they were grandchildren for my grandparents” , she says. explained.

“They blamed me and said my brother and I lacked empathy and compassion, just like our extended family,” she concluded her post, inviting fellow Redditors to share their opinions.

The post attracted more than a thousand comments, with many people agreeing with the teen that her father and stepmother caused this unfortunate situation by not being honest with the stepchildren.

“I agree with you; Dad messed up. He made it incredibly difficult for your grandparents to build a real relationship with the kids because he used you as a cudgel to force them into where they weren’t welcome were, and also gave the children the expectation of a relationship that never really had a reason to exist,” one person wrote.

‘The children have done nothing wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong. Your extended family has done nothing wrong,” they continued. “Your father and stepmother managed to create the worst situation and they blame everyone for it.”

Another person said: ‘I really feel sorry for your step-siblings but this is 100% your dad and stepmom’s fault. They lied to their children for years, and that lie came true. And now they’re mad at everyone but them.”

The teen replied to the comment: “Yes. If my father had accepted that my grandparents and extended family wanted to see us, their actual family, none of this would have happened. Instead, they let my step-siblings have a one-sided relationship build up (with them).”

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Others expressed sympathy for the step-siblings, with one person noting that they “loved your grandparents from a young age and when they grew up, they wouldn’t understand the dynamics of everything that was going on.”

One commenter said they had a similar experience to the step-siblings growing up, but in their case they never expected any kind of inheritance.

“We didn’t get involved in ‘grandchildren’ stuff when they died, or inheritances. At least, not directly. AND THAT’S OKAY. Because we KNEW they weren’t our real grandparents — they had been good to us, and they were .nice, but they had biological grandchildren,” they wrote.