Dealing with anxiety? Silent signs to watch for and ways to deal with them

Anxiety, like many mental disorders and illnesses, tends to manifest itself in many ways, but the unwanted feeling is often accompanied by unusual but small symptoms that can easily be overlooked.

Meena L (name changed), a 34-year-old content writer, realized she was suffering from anxiety issues in 2017, while recovering from GBS (Guillain-Barré syndrome, an autoimmune disease) . “This disease had affected my spine and paralyzed me from the waist down. So I constantly wondered if I would ever be able to walk like I used to. Because of this, my emotions would go haywire for no reason,” says Meena, who reveals that spiraling thoughts are an often ignored symptom of anxiety. “I’m between jobs and so a rejection from a potential employer could bring me down. a wave of negative thoughts like: “What’s wrong? Is something wrong with me? Why it does not work ? ” She adds.

Dr Prerna Sharma from the Institute of Human Behavior and Allied Sciences, Delhi, lists some hidden signs of anxiety that go unnoticed. Beware of thoughts of impending doom, she says. Being blank during an exam or not being able to express yourself are other signs. Avoidance (of social interactions) is another symptom.

“A person can make plans with a friend and not show up; They may not show up for a job interview out of fear of failure or skip an event like a wedding out of fear of interacting with people and answering questions related to their job or the clothes they wear “, explains Sharma. Avoidance, she For some reasons, occurs when people want to control situations, a characteristic that is generally high in anxious people. “When people tend to use avoidance as a tool , their social life then shrinks into a cocoon that they have created for themselves. This is a behavior that family or friends should not ignore,” she says.

Dr Julie Smith, clinical psychologist and author of Why didn’t anyone tell me this before? is known for saying, “In the fight against anxiety, your superpower will always be action, because anxiety makes you want to avoid. But avoidance maintains anxiety, feeding it over time. But the things you do every day will always become your comfort zone. »

Fight against anxiety

Delhi-based writer Neha Vashist, 32, knew something was wrong when she became irritated and touchy for small reasons, but remained calm when faced with bigger issues. It was when she reached the point where she wanted to harm herself that she contacted a clinical psychologist. Sharing how therapy helped her, Vashist says, “I was lucky to find my psychologist, Dona Singh. She never criticized me, but talked about my anxiety as something we both needed to address. She explained things to me in simple terms. My evaluation revealed that I also have borderline personality disorder, and this is being addressed alongside my anxiety. »

Vashist sought help at a critical time in his condition. But generally speaking, when should you seek professional help once you are aware of the signs of anxiety? “When you reach a point where everything you do feels debilitating, talk to a therapist and get an assessment,” says Mumbai-based psychologist Jenisha Shah. Another case where it is necessary to seek professional advice, according to Shah, is when avoiding social interactions goes to an extreme mode.

“In the post-pandemic era, giving rain checks to stay home or avoid a gathering is considered a personal protection measure, but, if it has gotten to the point where you are trying to avoid contact, even with the person who delivers your groceries. , then you need to get evaluated,” she says.

In addition to therapy, Shah recommends mindfulness as a tool for managing anxiety. “Deliberately slow down the task at hand, whether it’s eating, working, or even walking. Recognize that it takes effort to plan and complete certain activities, and give each activity its due time. Try doing small things first and gradually move on to bigger tasks,” she adds.

Rituals or regular routine can help control anxiety to a great extent. “Rituals help you pay attention: they can help you define how the day will unfold. For example, the ritual of reading the newspaper with coffee may inspire you to start your morning calmly, or a gentle alarm at 10 p.m. may inspire you to call it a day. Consistent rituals can help you regulate your time and slow down,” says Shah. Sharma encourages deliberately engaging in the activity that is being avoided with the help of a trusted friend. “If driving is what you makes you nervous, so take someone you trust – a friend or family member for short trips, until you can eventually do it yourself,” she says.

Vashist has the last word when she says, “I’m in a better place now and even though I feel anxious at times, I’m taking it step by step with the help of the tools I have. »

Sumitra is an independent journalist who researches stories at the intersection of women, politics, gender, social media, lifestyle and fashion.