Our children's education must not stop during the summer

3 minute read

Benny Berlin
| Special to USA TODAY Network

Turn on the television or scroll through any news site or social platform and we can find a multitude of topics that divide us as a society, that pit our neighbors against each other, and that, if we are not careful, will not only be passed on to our children, but will eventually become polarizing and hateful. The summer months, when school is out, remind us of the vital role parents play in the informal education of their children, and if we seize this opportunity, we can help right some societal wrongs, teach our children to play with those who come from different backgrounds than our own, learn about diversity and inclusion, and maybe even that “that neighbor” can talk to a neighbor, even if they disagree on who the next president should be or the conflicts in Europe, the Middle East, and Africa.

When we think about educating our children, we usually think of the ten months of the year they spend in the classroom and the enriching time that allows them to develop their “literary intelligence.” But the time spent outside the classroom allows them to develop their thoughts, their opinions and most importantly their image of the person they want to become. This is where parents, family members, community and religious leaders and the multitude of others they interact with serve as role models to help shape their future outside the classroom. In doing so, we must focus not only on the problems of today, but on what will happen if future generations only see and build on the polarities of society, resulting in a less tolerant and sexist society.

How can we help our children avoid polarization?

So here are some ideas on how we can both steer our children away from polarization, while teaching them the importance of standing up for what they believe is right:

Stand for something, not against it: When we think about the many vitriolic slogans chanted at protests calling for the demise of another group, we need to take a moment to consider how our children are being taught to avoid “the other,” creating a generation of exclusionists instead of one that sees itself as inclusive. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to stand up for something simply because of what your child sees. Instead, when you bring a child to a rally, think about what the sign you’re holding says, think about the slogans you might shout: Are they standing up for what you believe in? Or are they negative toward the side the counter-protesters are representing? When we teach our children to stand for something more than hatred of the other, we help shape their moral code while showing them the value of rallying and demonstrating for the causes we care about.
Think about how you talk about the other party before and after you make your voice heard: Our children learn not only from our actions, but also from our words, especially those we say in the privacy of our homes, in our cars, and even on walks with their parents. Even if we don’t always speak to them, they listen not only to our words, but also to our choice of words. It’s natural to disagree with someone else, and it’s something we need to pass on to the next generation; it’s natural even to dislike a person. But when our words and actions show that we dislike a group because they disagree with us or vote for those who challenge our candidates, that’s where a line is crossed and where—unless we’re careful—our children will learn from us and become more polarized thinkers and more radical doers. Being a parent or a role model doesn’t mean giving up your own opinion. Instead, focus your efforts on teaching your child why your side is right, not just why the other side is wrong. Always try to avoid putting others down or holding beliefs that contradict your own.
Social justice is not just about protesting, it’s about helping each other:Take the time to model and make sure your children understand the value of acts of neighborliness and community charity outside of crisis support gatherings. Volunteer at a food bank, help an elderly person cross the street, maybe even buy a meal for a homeless person. We encounter so many people and causes every day that we can help. When our children are watching, that simple act has a much greater impact.

What skills can your kids develop this summer?

As informal educators, it is essential to think about the lessons and messages we teach children during the summer. What values do we want to reinforce? What skills do we want them to develop? Summer is a great time to focus on character education, teaching children about kindness, empathy, responsibility, and resilience. These are qualities that will serve them well throughout their lives, no matter what career path they choose, and will help build a more just society.

The summer months hold tremendous potential for children’s growth and development through informal education. By seizing the opportunities that present themselves during this time, we can help children learn valuable life lessons, develop important skills, and nurture a lasting love for humanity. Find ways to foster dialogue about life’s challenges and be reflective rather than reactive.

This summer, let’s help solve society’s problems by teaching our children to stand up for something, not fight against others.

Rabbi Benny Berlin is the Rabbi of the BACH Jewish Center located in Long Beach, New York. For more information, visit bachlongbeach.com