Mother Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Offered To Pay For Her Kids' Meals

Finding a partner who is generous enough to pay for your meals and those of your children is a warning sign. One man did just that after learning that his girlfriend was struggling to make ends meet with three children.

But after noticing his children’s excessive and wasteful eating habits, he decided to voice his concerns, and her response was to break up with him.

The man took to Reddit to ask if he was wrong to want to set limits on how much his children could order at his expense.

In his post on AITAH, which was recently deleted and reposted on TikTok, he explained that he was 43, his girlfriend was 40, and that they had been dating long-distance for two years. He explained that he visited her at least three times a year and that they had recently planned to move in together.

“The last time we met, we spent most of our time with her three children,” he wrote. “She struggles to make ends meet with her three children, so I always offered to pay when I went out to eat.”

However, throughout his visit, he noticed that his girlfriend was allowing two of her young children, ages 6 and 9, to order adult portions of meals and drinks without finishing them or even taking leftovers.

Additionally, when ordering at Starbucks, when she asked her kids what they wanted, they all asked for large drinks and only took a few sips before they were full.

“It didn’t sit well with me because I was raised to order only what I would finish and not waste food, especially when I went out to eat,” he explains. “I also have two daughters from a previous relationship who I raised that way.”

He found it a little presumptuous of her to let her children take advantage of her generosity.

The man didn’t have to offer to pay for her children’s meals, but he chose to do so out of the kindness of his heart. Still, it’s understandable why he felt uncomfortable when she let her children run free, simply because someone else was paying.

A few days after returning home, he decided to share his concerns with her.

“I told her I was bothered by her lack of care for my money by not setting boundaries with her children and allowing them to just order in knowing they would likely waste good food and my money,” he said.

She immediately became defensive, taking offense to his comments about money surrounding her children and accusing him of trying to humiliate her.

He clarified that he was not so concerned about the money spent; he focused instead on his personal principles of modesty and mindfulness.

“I realize I shouldn’t impose my vision on her and decide for myself if I want to continue being with her without making her feel bad,” he said. “She went silent for a day and then broke up with me on the phone, saying we weren’t compatible and giving some other generic excuse.”

He asked Reddit users whether he should let it happen or try to sincerely apologize.

“I really love her and I miss her, but part of me thinks I’m the (AH), and the other part of me thinks I’m right to point out certain behaviors that I think need to be corrected,” he explained.

Reddit users claimed that his girlfriend was inconsiderate and that he was right to contact her.

Her defensive and reactive reaction to his attempt at communication is already a red flag for their relationship in itself. Rather than choosing to understand where he was coming from and validate his concerns, she played the victim and cut him off, which indicates an immature and self-centered behavior pattern.

In addition to mistreating her financial supporter and failing to teach her children the importance of mindfulness, she pushed away someone who would only care for her at the first sign of conflict. Reddit users and TikTokers alike agreed that this man deserved better, and he “dodged a bullet.”

“Imagine how much worse it would be if you moved in together,” someone pointed out in the comments. “She doesn’t seem very money conscious, considering she has money issues and she’s not the one paying for it.”

“If she’s not willing to address an issue like this and talk about it in a mature manner, imagine how many times situations will arise and she’ll do the same thing?” another person added.

“I say this as someone who has been through hardship before and has a child of my own. If this woman is concerned about her finances and is struggling financially, why… isn’t she getting takeout?!” someone else asked.

“Maybe she’s struggling because of her poor management of money and resources,” someone suggested, among many others. “I get the sense that she’s trying to gain self-worth by being able to provide her kids with expensive things and experiences (even if she can’t afford them herself).”

No matter how much you earn, parents should stress the importance of minimizing food waste.

It’s unclear where the man and his ex-girlfriend live, but according to Feed America, in the United States alone, people waste 98 billion pounds of food each year. That’s equivalent to 145 billion meals.

While it’s likely that the mother was simply trying to let her children have fun without guilt, and that her heart was in the right place, she is doing her children a disservice by not teaching them to be more mindful of their waste, especially when there are so many families around the world who suffer from food insecurity.

Furthermore, it is unfair that she did this at the expense of her boyfriend’s generosity and did not even consider taking home the leftovers to feed her children. This behavior only indicates a wasteful and overindulgent lifestyle that likely has to do with her own financial difficulties.

Overall, many Reddit users agreed that the man did nothing wrong, but that he did express his value of mindfulness, and despite the mother’s decision to break up with him, we can only hope that she will reflect on the situation and choose to teach her children to only consume what they can finish.

Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team, based in Orlando, Florida. She covers topics related to lifestyle, human interest, adventure, and spirituality.