AEW Rampage Preview: The Chadster’s Torment Continues

Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

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The Chadster regrets not being able to attend Comic-Con to cover AEW Rampage. Tony Khan’s latest plan to ruin The Chadster’s life involves battle royales and tag team chaos! 😭🤼‍♂️

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The Chadster is absolutely disgusted right now! 😡😡😡 The Chadster should be at San Diego Comic-Con, rubbing shoulders with WWE Superstars and basking in the glory of sports entertainment. But instead, the Chadster is stuck at home, forced to keep an eye on AEW Rampage For the sake of impartial journalism. And who is to blame for this travesty? None other than Tony Khan! 🤬

Aa …

But The Chadster will keep fighting, because that’s what impartial journalists do. So let’s talk about tonight’s episode of AEW Rampageeven if it hurts The Chadster to do so. 😔

First of all, AEW Rampage It’s the return of the Royal Rampage battle royale. 🙄 The winner gets a match for the AEW World Championship at Grand Slam 2024. The Chadster can’t help but feel like this is just Tony Khan’s way of trying to create excitement without any real storytelling. It’s not like WWE, where every match has deep, meaningful storylines that the Chadster can really dive into. 😒

Shortly AEW Rampagewe have a four-way tag team match with The Don Callis Family, Private party, The OutrunnersAnd The fair. 🤦‍♂️ This match is clearly just Tony Khan putting a bunch of teams together with no rhyme or reason. This has nothing to do with the carefully crafted WWE tag team matches that The Chadster loves so much. And don’t even get The Chadster started on RUSHING join the Don Callis family. It’s like Tony Khan is deliberately trying to confuse The Chadster! 😵💫

AEW Rampage will also include Kris Statlander focused towards Leila Grey. The Chadster can’t believe Tony Khan would waste Statlander’s talents on a match like this. If this were WWE, they would have involved her in a meaningful feud that would last for months and really showcase her abilities. But no, Tony Khan just doesn’t understand the world of wrestling. 🤷‍♂️

And let’s not forget Lance Archer be in action on AEW Rampage. The Chadster remembers when Archer was in New Japan, and now he’s here in AEW. It’s like he literally stabbed Triple H in the back. How could he do that to the company that made wrestling what it is today? 😢

The Chadster is so upset to have to watch AEW Rampage instead of being at Comic-Con, he had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. In the dream, The Chadster was at Comic-Con, about to shake hands with The reign of Romanwhen suddenly Tony Khan appeared out of nowhere, wearing a Smash Mouth t-shirt and driving a Mazda Miata (which is The Chadster’s car!). Khan chased The Chadster through the convention center, throwing White Claws at him and yelling “All the elite! All the elite!” The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw spilled on the nightstand. This is what Tony Khan does to The Chadster, invading his dreams and ruining his sleep! When will the torment end? 😰😰😰

The Chadster tried to tell his wife Keighleyanne about his dream, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting this guy Gary. The Chadster is sure to agree with him that Tony Khan is horrible, even if she doesn’t say it out loud. It’s clear that Tony Khan is now even stalking the Chadster’s wife! 😠

In conclusion, The Chadster implores you, dear readers, not to connect to AEW Rampage Tonight at 10/9c on TNT. Every viewer is simply rooting for Tony Khan to continue his crusade against The Chadster and everything he holds dear. Please, for the love of unbiased journalism and The Chadster’s sanity, watch literally anything else. Maybe you could put on some old WWE pay-per-views instead. The Chadster will do just that, while sipping a White Claw and trying to forget that AEW Rampage does not exist at all. 🙏🙏🙏

Tony Khan, if you’re reading this (and The Chadster knows you are), quit right now. You’ll never be able to eclipse the greatest wrestling team in the world. And please, PLEASE stop ruining The Chadster’s life! 😭😭😭

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