Mark Zuckerberg gives his wife a statue, a couples therapist gives his opinion

Given that the couple’s wedding anniversary is in May and Chan’s birthday is in February, the gift doesn’t appear to be based on any particular occasion.

Commenters on the Instagram post appear divided over whether the gesture – the work of New York-based contemporary artist Daniel Arsham – is sweet or awkward.

But Isabelle Morley, a Massachusetts-based clinical psychologist who specializes in couples therapy, told Business Insider that such a lavish gift could be a red flag.

Here’s why.

Context is everything when it comes to extravagant gifts

At the outset, Morley said expensive gifts may not carry the same weight among the ultra-wealthy.

Arsham’s works sell for up to $29,000 on some online marketplaces. Forbes reported that Zuckerberg had a net worth of over $169 billion as of August 15.

But no matter how big the donor’s bank account, Morley always likes to ask, “What was the purpose of this gift?”

For those who come from less affluent backgrounds and have worked hard to be financially stable, an extravagant gift could be a way to show off their progress without expecting much in return, Morley said.

“It’s a tribute to what they worked for and what they built and it’s a way to showcase that and take care of someone they love,” she said.

But, Morley adds, extravagant gifts can sometimes also be an attempt to manipulate the recipient or elicit a specific reaction from them.

“Some people use these gifts to fix bad behavior or even abusive behavior, which I’m not saying the statue does, but it’s always something to be aware of,” she added.

For people receiving a big gift, Morley encourages asking themselves a few key questions: Is this for a birthday? Are there expectations for how they should respond?

“Was it, ‘I did something wrong, I’m going to make up for it by giving you something shiny to make you forget it’?” she added.

In Zuckerberg’s case, Morley said, the biggest red flag would be “if he commissioned this and spent God knows how much money and expected a certain reaction or response.”

Sharing such a lavish gift on social media is another potential warning sign.

Some people in relationships may be quick to post and praise their spouse online, Morley said.

Zuckerberg posted a photo of the statue on Instagram, where he has 14.5 million followers, sharing the gift with a wide audience.

Morley wonders why.

“Was it simply to show her his deep love and gratitude for her, for who she is and for who she has been in his life?” Morley asked. “Or was it to ingratiate himself with others and to elicit some affectionate response from her.”

Morley said she is particularly attentive to couples who feel “the need to display this kind of affection in public” on highly curated social media platforms. She cited some research she has read that suggests such displays may indicate that couples are less happy in real life.

“Was it a huge statue because Mark really wanted a huge statue? Or was it because Priscilla said, ‘You know what? I love art. I would love a gigantic piece inspired by Roman architecture,’” Morley said.

As for whether the gift is cute or embarrassing, the only person whose opinion matters is Chan, Morley said.

It appears the statue has gotten Chan’s seal of approval.

She commented on Zuckerberg’s post: “The more the merrier?” with a red heart emoji, to which her husband replied: “Always” with another red heart emoji.

“If she thinks it’s cute, it’s cute,” Morley said.