Hillary Clinton reflects on her life’s victories and defeats in a memoir inspired by a Joni Mitchell song

NEW YORK (AP) — At the end of her new memoir, Hillary Clinton utters what sounds like a distant wish: “I hope I am alive to see the United States elect a woman president.”

It turns out his book went to the printer a little too early. Clinton wrote that sentence before Kamala Harris became the Democratic presidential nominee, which suddenly made that wish much more immediate. It was too late to update the print version of “Something lost, something gained” which comes out this week, although the audiobook now has an epilogue.

So what does Clinton think of this wish today?

“I’m really optimistic,” she said, praising the vice president as a candidate and particularly her recent debate performance. “I think I’ll be there to see the first woman president!”

Clinton, 76, has written memoirs before – from 2003’s “Living History” to 2017’s “What Happened?” about the painful loss of Donald Trump Which thwarted her own quest to become the first female president of the United States. This latest book feels more intimate. Inspired by the song “Both Sides Now” by one of her favorite musicians, Joni Mitchell, the book is meant to be a snapshot of how she sees the world today, she says — like meeting her at a dinner party.

So it ranges from the macro—for example, a chapter on how she imagines the years following Trump’s reelection, starting with troops patrolling American cities—to the micro, describing life as a grandmother or mornings at home with Bill, competing in the New York Times Spelling Bee.

First Lady, lawyer, senator, secretary of state, and of course presidential candidate. College professor, aspiring Broadway producer. Clinton has lived through many chapters, and the actual chapters of the book move easily from one era to another.

She recounts in spy-novel detail an operation to rescue women at risk in Afghanistan as the Taliban took power in 2021, then returns in the next chapter to the unique “sisterhood” of former first ladies, at one point defending Melania Trump from criticism of her attire at Rosalynn Carter’s memorial service: “She showed up. That’s what mattered.”

But she makes no secret of her animosity toward Donald Trump. It’s clear that in the “something lost” category of her title is the election that still hurts, deeply. In a recent anecdote, she describes meeting a retired FBI official who apologized for his role in the bureau’s handling of the investigation into her emails, an investigation that was reopened days before the election.

She writes that she was unable to speak for a moment. “I would have been an excellent president,” she told him, before walking away.

Clinton spoke to The Associated Press last week ahead of her book’s release. Here are some takeaways:

The omnipresent glass ceiling

Clinton wore white, in homage to women’s suffrage, when she accepted the Democratic nomination; Harris did not. Clinton spoke of “18 million cracks” in the ultimate glass ceiling when she lost; Harris did not emphasize gender in her speeches. Why the difference?

Well, Clinton said, it’s been eight years. When she ran, it was so new for the country to have a major-party candidate that it had to be a priority. Nearly a decade later, the country has gotten used to the idea.

“We no longer have just one image of a woman running for president, which is me,” she said. “We now have a much better chance for women candidates, starting with Kamala, to be perceived in a way that takes for granted the fact that, yes, guess what? She is a woman.”

On being “right”

Clinton writes that her admirers often come up to her and say, “You warned us, and I wish we had listened.” (She adds, “What am I supposed to say to that? Yes, I did.”)

But Clinton also writes that she takes no pleasure in hearing or feeling that she was right — “in fact, I hate it” — even when she learned one afternoon in May that Trump had become the first former American president to be elected. convicted of serious crimes, a moment that she said brought her “a jolt of disbelief” and “a pang in my heart,” as well as a few tears.

When asked what scares her most today, she says, “What scares me most is that people don’t take Donald Trump seriously. Literally.”

Old activities and new ones

It’s no surprise that Hillary Clinton, who coined the phrase “women’s rights are human rights” three decades ago, talks about many of the activists and dissidents she has worked with around the world. She also recounts how she joined her colleagues in a covert operation to smuggle out of Afghanistan hundreds of women—professors, lawyers, activists, and their families—who were at risk of being targeted by the Taliban once American troops left.

But Clinton also talks about new activities. Like teaching, for the first time in 50 years, at Columbia University. And producing on Broadway. Clinton was one of the producers of “Enough,” The Tony Award-winning musical tells the story of women who fought for the right to vote in the early 20th century. It ends its book with a song from the show, “Keep Marching.”

Will there be more productions in the future? “I don’t know,” she says. “I can tell you it’s been one of the best experiences of my life.”

Family and marriage

Being a grandmother “is really the only experience in life that is not overrated,” says the grandmother of three, who dedicates her book to them.

But Clinton gets personal when she talks about her marriage, which brings her “new joys every day.” She doesn’t feel the need to delve into her reference to past difficulties. “It’s no secret that Bill and I have had dark days in our marriage in the past,” she writes. “But the past softens with time, and what remains is the truth: I’m married to my best friend.”

Asked if she feels some people still don’t believe her and wonder why she stayed, she says: “I’m sure there are people who don’t understand it. (But) it was an opportunity for me to say what I believe, which is that every life has challenges, opportunities, setbacks, disappointments, successes, accomplishments. And you have to make a decision almost every day about how you’re going to live that day.” She says she was happy with her choices.

Forest walks

Clinton’s schedule is organized by an aide, down to the minute. A phone call might be scheduled for 10:14. But what does that mean for her much-discussed walks in the woods near her home in Chappaqua, New York?

Clinton also makes time for this. Bill comes sometimes, but his walks are more like a “quiet conversation” where he has to chat with everyone they see. As for her, she has to “just get out there and walk as fast as she can.”

Sometimes she prepares her speeches while walking. Other times, she says, she doesn’t think about anything at all. “The Japanese have this beautiful expression for ‘forest bathing,’ a way of literally walking through the woods and enjoying the view.”

She advises readers to do the same when the political climate starts to get heavy: “Put down your phone and go outside. Go for a walk.”