On the awkward but essential service of connecting your single friends

The meeting started like any other: with the best of intentions. I was told that this guy—let’s call him Bobby—was a kind, intelligent social butterfly who would be perfect for me. It had all been arranged by a friend who was about to get married; she planned to introduce me to Bobby at the wedding. In a classic dating strategy, we would sit next to each other at dinner.

The conversation flowed easily enough at first; we knew a lot of people in common and had grown up in similar parts of London. He was attractive, charming and friendly. A good catch… until he got drunk. So drunk, in fact, that he kept trying to pick fights with other party-goers on the dance floor. I’m not sure how it happened (had he been sneaking shots of vodka in the toilets?), but soon friends were holding him upright to stop him collapsing on a table outside and hurling insults at everyone around him every time he resurfaced.

For a moment I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt (some people are complete drunks) and even tried to reason with him when he told the bride’s sister to go fuck herself. He looked up, looked me straight in the eye and said in a slurred voice, “I don’t give a damn what you think, you bitch.”

Dating doesn’t always go well, that’s for sure. Not everyone you like gets along, especially romantically. But when a friend-friend encounter goes so poorly, it can be a little awkward, to say the least. Because unlike dating on dating apps, where the consequences are almost pitifully low, the stakes are always pretty high when it comes to hookups, as is the pressure. You’re expected to put your best foot forward and make a good impression. Plus, no matter what, you’ll probably see them again. In short, you really don’t want to screw things up. And yet, it happens all the time.

“One guy fell asleep on our date,” says Annabelle, 32, who is often scammed by friends and has even been scammed twice by her mother. “Another wondered out loud what I would look like if I didn’t feel good. One guy told me I should be grateful to be with him because he usually only dated ‘10/10 chicks.’ And the women I’ve dated have spent entire dates questioning my gayness.”