Miss Manners: What is proper gift-giving etiquette? Don’t get caught.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was given a very beautiful and expensive gift, but I have no use for it and it’s not my style. I do however have a friend who I know would love this because she has the same expensive taste. Would it be rude to give it back to this friend?

The two friends are part of my entourage and know each other. I wouldn’t want to hurt the feelings of the original donor, as she is probably the kindest soul I know. I kept everything she gave me, but it’s just not something I want. I would hate for it to go to waste when I know someone else would love it.

Is there proper re-gifting etiquette?

GENTLE READER: The etiquette when it comes to re-gifting is to not get caught. The probability in this case is too great and, in Miss Manners’ opinion, not worth the risk. She suggests you find another worthy recipient, preferably someone who lives in another state or country.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I sent a dinner invitation to my in-laws. My brother-in-law called my husband to confirm his presence. He added that he would be bringing his boyfriend and that he would need some accommodations regarding food since his boyfriend had just been released from the hospital a few days ago after major surgery. organ transplantation.

I decided to cancel dinner, telling my husband that it was rude and had the right to disturb your host. If someone is so delicate that they need special treatment, they should stay home.

My husband says I’m too sensitive and should just ignore the request. What does Miss Manners think?

GENTLE READER: That someone should check on the boyfriend who just had a major organ transplant?!

Miss Manners sympathizes with the widespread abuse of hosts when it comes to inviting extra people and dictating menus. But she doesn’t cancel dinners because of them — and not for legitimate excuses like bringing an established partner and asking to accommodate their post-hospitalization diet.

Not only are you overly sensitive, you’re actively insensitive. But you can take comfort in knowing that your husband’s idea of ​​ignoring the (probably) medically necessary dietary request may actually be worse.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: My sister-in-law has been invited to several family functions. She attends, but always leaves without saying goodbye. We look up and she leaves without saying anything to anyone.

I think this is rude behavior. There have been some family disagreements in the past, but nothing too serious. I’m starting to think she doesn’t like us and is going out out of obligation.

What is your opinion?

GENTLE READER: Your sister-in-law’s point of view is probably more relevant than Miss Manners’. So she suggests you say, “We were so happy to see you at Cousin Ethan’s retirement party, but you left before we had a chance to say goodbye.” Is this something we said?

At that point she will either tell you or not. But at least she will have been warned… that you noticed.