Woman wonders if she should stop talking to a man online because he's poor

Whether you need a dual income to survive, raise a family, or simply fund a life of adventure and luxury, many consider financial compatibility when dating.

A woman’s Reddit post on the ‘Money’ forum got people talking after she debated breaking up with a potential romantic partner over her bank account balance.

A woman said she considered breaking up with a man she met online because ‘he’s poor’ – ‘It’s sad to lose someone because of that’.

“I could write a page about everything I like and communicate with him,” the 20-something revealed on Reddit, “but it’s this kind of thinking he has that really bothers me .”

Although this woman already earns a good living, she can’t help but admit that she’s not looking for “struggle love” – especially where she’s the one running the relationship. It might work for some couples, but at this point in her life, she doesn’t want it.

She wrote: “I really have the mindset that I want to create a financially wealthy life for myself because there are so many things I want to learn, do and explore. I would like to be with someone who is the same, who is optimistic about what is possible and who thinks about how he can develop in this way.

Despite making a “great connection,” she said she wanted someone with an optimistic financial mindset.

Especially since she doesn’t want to have kids – at least anytime soon – she’s looking for someone who will treat her well, be a healthy partner, and can contribute to the lifestyle she’s looking to achieve. reach. Like many “DINKS” (“Double Income, No Kids”) in committed relationships, they are capable of spending an incredible amount of money on the things that light them up – whether it’s food , travel or simply investment in comfort.

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“Honestly, I don’t want to be the one who makes the majority of the money/pays for everything in a relationship because I want someone with whom together our income is much better than one, and our life is is getting bigger because of this,” she shared. . “I don’t want to carry most of this weight.”

While money clearly isn’t everything, she confessed that for her, it was an important factor to align with.

She wrote: “I’m thinking of breaking the connection because of this. I don’t know if I should tell him that’s why I’m doing it. We’re not officially dating yet, but we’re definitely building a deep connection. I would be sad to lose someone because of this, but it’s just not what I want.

While many commenters wanted her to be optimistic about love, some said most relationships fail because of “financial incompatibility.”

Even if both men are in love or establish a great relationship, if one of them is not willing to make financial compromises or adopt a new attitude toward money, it is unlikely that their long-term commitment lasts. Whether financial differences turn into resentment or, even worse, financial instability prevents them from living their dream lives, the couple’s love will be the first thing sacrificed.

“Who you marry may be the biggest financial decision you ever make,” one person wrote. “Many relationships fail because of differing opinions about money. In my personal experience, people with such a mindset will hold you back just as they hold themselves back.

Financial incompatibility may seem unexpected when you first fall in love with someone, but as soon as you disagree on the price of a dinner in front of friends, fail to enjoy the promised European honeymoon or you disagree on a new job opportunity, this often surfaces.

However, isn’t it just as important to share similar values of love, compassion and empathy? Are qualities corresponding to love languages, future plans, or expectations of standards less important? Should a difference in financial motivation, financial future, and the relationship between wealth and identity be prioritized over the latter?