TikTok Caught a Man Cheating on a Flight, But Is It Okay?

Photo-illustration: by The Cut; Photos: Getty Images/Getty Images

A man shows what appears to be a back tattoo to a blonde woman sitting next to him on a plane. She holds up his green T-shirt; they chat animatedly, leaning toward each other. If you were sitting a few rows apart, this might seem like a healthy interaction; at least they’re not passive-aggressively jostling for elbow room! But the woman who recorded and posted the video on TikTok sensed something more sinister: “If this man is your husband flying United Airlines flight 2140 from Houston to New York, he’s probably staying at Katy’s tonight,” the video caption reads.

The text goes on to explain that the man met the woman at an airport bar, convinced her to trade places with someone else so they could spend the four-hour flight drinking together. , and talked to him about his work, his hobbies and his 8-year-old daughter. “I wouldn’t have known he was married if he hadn’t worn his wedding ring,” it reads. “😂 Do your TikTok thing. »

Within 24 hours, internet sleuths had identified the man and his wife in the comments, found their social media accounts and shared photos of their family. Many applauded the author of the post, Caroline Rened, for her public-serving spying; she even posted a grainy follow-up video with a caption that read, “Update, they were kissing and ended up in the bathroom.” Rened was hailed as a “girl’s girl” doing both the FBI’s and “the Lord’s” work. Hundreds more said they wished an iPhone-wielding guardian angel had exposed their own cheating partners. “My ex-husband cheated on me while I was pregnant with his child,” one said. “I would have loved for him to be exposed on social media, it just didn’t exist like that in 2007.” Divorce lawyers offered their services.

Rened isn’t the first TikTok vigilante to expose someone suspected of cheating. There are tens of thousands of hidden-camera confrontations under the hashtag #catchingcheaters, or women trolling other people’s partners with flirty messages like “I don’t normally text guys, but you’re so cute 😍” under the hashtag #loyaltytest (and, yes, these videos almost always feature a straight man going after a woman). But while these Joey Greco wannabes see themselves as holding cheating men accountable, not everyone welcomed the “plane guy”’s covert arrest. One TikToker who goes by the handle @prettycritical blasted Rened for invading the couple’s privacy: “Now all their friends know and all their family knows,” she says. “Everyone they know professionally knows.” If she wants to leave her husband, everyone knows why. If she wants to stay with her husband and work it out, everyone now has an opinion on whether she should have done so or not.”

Commenters who took up Rened’s #findthewife challenge tagged the woman’s TikTok account, posted details about when the guy from the plane landed, and shared photos of the couple and their family, while others suggested doing the same for Katy, the other alleged woman. The fact that followers of this saga broke out the popcorn left some people disgusted. “Maybe she’d rather not have the potential deterioration of her marriage turn into a TikTok reality show for the morbid fascination of strangers without her consent,” wrote one commenter on X. “But y’all don’t really care and are just here for the TMZ of it all.”

Rened’s video makes certain assumptions: that the plane guy is in a monogamous marriage, that his wife would be grateful to have his behavior publicly exposed, and that such a transgression justifies strangers posting her personal information online. But in an age where ethical non-monogamy and polyamory are on the rise, not all flirtations with a wedding ring cross the line. We don’t know what rules the plane guy and his wife abide by in their personal lives. Besides, if Rened truly cared about this woman’s well-being, why not track her down and send her a private DM? Instead, the video strips the plane guy’s wife of any agency, reducing her to a hologram onto which people can project their own baggage. Even if an online sisterhood has formed around the wife, it’s unclear whether she wants camaraderie. She didn’t record her own video expressing her gratitude to Rened and the internet sleuths, nor did she respond to any of the commenters who tagged her. Instead, she remained silent, with her TikTok account set to private.

The airplane saga is the kind of intimate, unscripted moment that makes for viral gold. For viewers, there’s catharsis in watching an asshole get caught. There’s a mystery to solve and people to fight with in the comments section. I also want to blow up the guy on the plane. If I’d been on that flight and within earshot of the situation, I would have hung on their every word and made up an elaborate story for each of them: In my version, it’s Katy’s first time on a plane. When they landed, I would have texted the group chat about the scandal and bored my husband with every detail. But I would have chosen to watch Fatal attraction during the flight itself instead of filming a popular version of Cheaters for the whole internet to see.