Should I just stop going to family reunions?

DEAR ABBY: My brother and I were very close growing up. But when he got into drugs as a teenager, he started doing things I couldn’t stand, so we grew apart. I never wanted to believe he would hurt me, but I finally had to admit that he was the one who stole my precious and irreplaceable jewelry and sold it for drug money.

He has been in recovery for almost 30 years and has apologized to everyone except me. He may not remember, or may not want to remember, the pain he caused me. How can I continue to see him at family gatherings when I am so disgusted by him that I don’t talk to him? It’s not a matter of pulling him aside and telling him this; he would just attack me. Should I just stop going to family gatherings? — SISTER ATTRIBUTED TO CANADA

DEAR SISTER: Your brother may have been in recovery for 30 years, but the behavior you describe is not that of a healthy man. Stay close to family gatherings and resist the urge to confront him because you know it won’t bring you the satisfaction you want or end well. Keep your distance, tend to the relatives you are close to, be polite, and ignore him as much as possible.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.